Tag Archives: guacomole

Grain-free Tortilla Chips That Don’t Suck – BONUS: Awesome Guac

I hate avocados. They taste awful and are good for nothing. Truly, they are the devil’s candy, eaten out of the devil’s grandmother’s “1960’s Orange” candy dish.

UNLESS… you make the incredibly simple guacamole found at the end of this post (literally, I have hated all fresh avocado until I made the perfect guac this very evening).

In the mean time, check out this simple grain-free tortilla chip recipe. You may decide not go back to corn chips after trying these. It’s like the old saying: “Once you go grain-free, you’ll never have a brain tree.” It doesn’t make any sense, but by God, it’s a saying!

-1/2 cup almond flour/meal
-1/2 cup cashew flour/meal
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/2 tsp chili powder
-1/2 tsp garlic powder
-1/2 tsp cumin
-1/4 tsp onion powder
-1/4 tsp paprika
-1 egg white
1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine all of the dry ingredients. Add egg white and mix together thoroughly until they form an even dough.
2. Roll out the dough between two pieces of parchment paper, as thinly and evenly as possible. Remove the top layer of parchment paper. Cut the dough into desired shapes for chips (I used a pizza cutter, but you can use a switchblade if you’re a real bad@$$).
3. Move the dough, with the parchment paper, onto a baking sheet. Bake for 11-13 minutes, until the edges start to brown. Remove from the oven and let cool 5 minutes. Use a spatula to remove the chips from the paper. Serve with guacamole or salsa.

Now for the guacamole recipe!

1. Slice a ripe avocado in half. Use a spoon to scoop out the green squishy part. Mash it until it’s smooth, imagining the avocado is your high school bully’s face.
2. Add 1/2 tsp. of lime juice, a couple dashes of salt, and 1/2 tsp. garlic powder. Adjust salt/garlic amounts to taste.
3. Stir vigorously, or until your mother says, “Jeez, Brian! That’s enough!” This is especially important if your name isn’t Brian.