Chili Today, Armageddon Tamale

As promised, here’s my award-winning chili! Full disclosure: I created, voted, and presented the award, to/for myself (Cutest Left-Handed Chili Maker in the Lower 48).

Total Prep/Cook Time: About an hour, allowing for the extra time to refer to this recipe, minus the time that you cranked up the heat during Step 3 because your kids/significant other were complaining that dinner was not ready, and he/she/they is/are hungry/a huge freaking baby. Makes about 16 servings. Great for families, or for a couple who wants to eat chili for a week.


-3 pounds of ground beef (grass-fed organic preferred)

-1 can (15/16-ounce) organic tomato sauce

-2 cups water

-4 teaspoons paprika

-8 teaspoons cumin

-2 tablespoons dried onion flakes

-1/2 teaspoon garlic salt

-1 cup chili powder

-2 teaspoons ground red pepper

-3 small/medium sweet potatoes

-12 to 16 ounces of your favorite all-natural, organic, pastured, grass-fed, nitrate-free, minimally-processed, natural-casing, crap-free beef/chicken/pork/turkey sausage

-Fresh peppers to taste


Step 1: Brown 3 pounds of beef in a 5-quart pot. DO NOT DRAIN THE MEAT.

While the meat is browning, combine tomato sauce, water, paprika, cumin, onion flakes, garlic salt, chili powder, and red pepper (cayenne) into a mixing bowl.

After stirring, the wet mixture should be the same color as the still-beating heart of your defeated enemy on the battlefield. You may also refer to the picture above.

Just in case you missed it – DO NOT DRAIN THE MEAT.

Combine the bowl with the pot and bring to a simmer.


Step 2: As the pot simmers, peel and chop the sweet potatoes into 1/2″ cubes. Add to the pot and continue to simmer.


Step 3: Cut the sausage and add it – continue to simmer. Slice and add any peppers to taste.

Simmer for up to another 30 minutes, or until sweet potatoes are cooked to the desired tenderness. If the chili is too thick, add water until you reach the desired consistency.


Step 4: Garnish with your favorite organic cheese and serve piping hot. Enjoy!

For bonus points, add additional peppers, like habenero, Bhut Jolokia, or Carolina Reaper. Then, tell me how it goes the next day. No pictures, please.


3 thoughts on “Chili Today, Armageddon Tamale

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